The Awakening...

And after some cleaning and washing that helped me get rid of my gooey stench, (a kind of strange smell that only new mothers seem immune to. Everyone else is like ...ewww maybe later) i realised one thing, I probably wasn't as ghastly looking as before. That brought a wry smile on my face. "Oh! look our son just smiled. Oh! goody, goody you, thats so cute. He's already learnt how to smile."

There see, my first act of genius. They already think I'm a genius.
Well, even though the statement was morally encouraging, it did not take away the fact that i was still 'handicapped'. I could not speak, or see distinctly, though my eyes were open. I was afraid, that i was born blind...

But...my brain, as brilliant as it is was able to deduce that it couldn't possibly be the case, else the docs would have pointed it out. With that in place, it was official...
I was a genius born free of defects!!

However, the most worrying part was that i still couldn't see and had no idea how much time had passed.
My ears only registered noises that sounded like a radio without signal. But i took refuge under the fact that even Einstein was partially deaf.

Ruminating about everyday life, it wasn't long before I was given my first bath.
The warmth that I felt sent me back to the time when I was still in the womb. To be frank I didn't reminisce too long as there hadn't been much to like in there (no offence to my mom) apart from the warmth, but nevertheless that was the only sojourne experience I could relate to.

The bath water was simmered to a temperature of indescribable warmth that could make an active person extremely lazy and a lazy person...well...even lazier.
Given my situation it felt like an ideal and god-sent time to relieve myself and fill the bath with more warmth.

And then...there was a shriek, and some chaos ensued. It was apparently all over in a flash, and everyone smiling in the end with me being the only bewildered spectator staring at a vast darkness dotted with white throughout and my hands outstretched...
...thus was the awakening

The Baby is out..phew

"...Huh what's going on? Where am I? And more importantly WHERE AM I?"

I was plagued with questions without any answers to provide respite. All I knew was that i had come to know some strange language which I seemed to be fluent in but then there were more questions. How did i know the language?

All that surrounded me was a sticky gooiness that provided an unusual warmth. "Wonder what this place looks like?"

I tried to open my eyes, but they werent there! Then a realisation dawned

Maybe its like in the 'Matrix', when 'Neo' was retrieved from the 'Sentinels'- an event signifying the birth of 'The One', etc, etc. I was probably in a similar state- inside a gooey pod. I did a joyous kick in the air and immediately heard a faint echoish sort of voice-a female voice.

Did 'Neo' too hear voices when he was in the pod. Who knows?

"Oh! This pregnancy is going to last for another 3 months isnt it? I can already feel the baby kick"

Then just as randomly these thoughts had appeared, they dematerialised.

(This is just a glimpse of the baby's imagination and you can be rest assured that this baby would grow up to give such outrageous insights to simple scenarios)

Anyway after that realisation dawned, i quickly made the calculations based on my finger and toe sizes and I realised that I should be out by another 2 months. Anything too soon or too late and who knows how I might look! Not that i'm looking too great at the moment or anything, but hey sometime later in my life i'm going to learn how to use a mirror.

Well one might think that i'm contradicting the female voice that earlier said 3 months.
I dont want to sound supercilious or anything but normally mothers under stress always forecast the worst!!!
C'mon mom you can do it!! You just have to ensure you eat well, sleep well and...well...basically ensure that i'm given the utmost importance 'cos i can guarantee that both dad and you have made the best investment ever.

So it hit me, that i had a lot to say and a whole lot more to do once i made the grand entry (or is it the exit) into the world. I'm sure one must have guessed why all these are necessary? It is all so that I can lead a comfortable early life with the best care possible.
Hmmm...so I had to prepare a speech then...
Damn!! My brain is too small to memorize any sort of speech and there is obviously no pen and paper here and on top of that there is too much disturbance outside.
"Mom, Dad, could you ask someone to turn down the volume please, your genius son is thinking here"

But I guess a mother's womb is something of a greenhouse- it lets in sound but doesnt let out any!! Oh what the hell, I just realised i cant speak, so i guess i'll leave it till nature decides to gift me with a mouth.

Boy is it irritating- i'm a growing baby but the space seems to only get smaller, I have a mouth but i cant speak, I got a brain thats as big as a peanut and on top of that i dont look great at least not with with the generous coating of goo over me. I just want to get out and my legs gave a kick and oooops... i thought i heard a shriek.

then something gross and disgusting having five large projections grabbed my head and started tugging it.

Hey what the hell!!
The next thing i knew i was blinded by some sort of light.
Wait a minute, was i out already. hey what about the speech that I was supposed to give- ok here goes nothing-
"My dear parents, I'm pleased to..."- but i'm sure i didnt hear these words, all I could hear was "waaaa waaaa" and due to some reason I couldnt stop crying.
Oh my god! this is the worst possible entry( or exit-damn does it matter!!) ever.

No brilliant speech, horrible looks- bad investment?

Then i heard mom say, "Phew the baby's out. Wasnt he a handful!!"

Disclaimer!!

Thank you people for viewing this blog. I guess you must thank your stars or rather i must thank yours!!
Firstly the blog is titled pensive for an innate reason. It is because the blog is a recollection of my precious life from the time my body had agglomerated enough grey cells to form the brain.
Secondly, i would like to caution the viewers against any misconception arising from the fact that this blog is totally surreal. I totally understand your misconception. But that is why this is special. It reflects some of my own thoughts and opinions on matters that might seem beyond my comprehension at certain stages.
Finally, i would recommend the viewers 'to go to hell with their judgemental logic' and just enjoy the non-stop nonsense that seems to happen...
Thank you..enjoy the posts. I'll try to keep updating as quickly as possible.