The Baby is out..phew

"...Huh what's going on? Where am I? And more importantly WHERE AM I?"

I was plagued with questions without any answers to provide respite. All I knew was that i had come to know some strange language which I seemed to be fluent in but then there were more questions. How did i know the language?

All that surrounded me was a sticky gooiness that provided an unusual warmth. "Wonder what this place looks like?"

I tried to open my eyes, but they werent there! Then a realisation dawned

Maybe its like in the 'Matrix', when 'Neo' was retrieved from the 'Sentinels'- an event signifying the birth of 'The One', etc, etc. I was probably in a similar state- inside a gooey pod. I did a joyous kick in the air and immediately heard a faint echoish sort of voice-a female voice.

Did 'Neo' too hear voices when he was in the pod. Who knows?

"Oh! This pregnancy is going to last for another 3 months isnt it? I can already feel the baby kick"

Then just as randomly these thoughts had appeared, they dematerialised.

(This is just a glimpse of the baby's imagination and you can be rest assured that this baby would grow up to give such outrageous insights to simple scenarios)

Anyway after that realisation dawned, i quickly made the calculations based on my finger and toe sizes and I realised that I should be out by another 2 months. Anything too soon or too late and who knows how I might look! Not that i'm looking too great at the moment or anything, but hey sometime later in my life i'm going to learn how to use a mirror.

Well one might think that i'm contradicting the female voice that earlier said 3 months.
I dont want to sound supercilious or anything but normally mothers under stress always forecast the worst!!!
C'mon mom you can do it!! You just have to ensure you eat well, sleep well and...well...basically ensure that i'm given the utmost importance 'cos i can guarantee that both dad and you have made the best investment ever.

So it hit me, that i had a lot to say and a whole lot more to do once i made the grand entry (or is it the exit) into the world. I'm sure one must have guessed why all these are necessary? It is all so that I can lead a comfortable early life with the best care possible.
Hmmm...so I had to prepare a speech then...
Damn!! My brain is too small to memorize any sort of speech and there is obviously no pen and paper here and on top of that there is too much disturbance outside.
"Mom, Dad, could you ask someone to turn down the volume please, your genius son is thinking here"

But I guess a mother's womb is something of a greenhouse- it lets in sound but doesnt let out any!! Oh what the hell, I just realised i cant speak, so i guess i'll leave it till nature decides to gift me with a mouth.

Boy is it irritating- i'm a growing baby but the space seems to only get smaller, I have a mouth but i cant speak, I got a brain thats as big as a peanut and on top of that i dont look great at least not with with the generous coating of goo over me. I just want to get out and my legs gave a kick and oooops... i thought i heard a shriek.

then something gross and disgusting having five large projections grabbed my head and started tugging it.

Hey what the hell!!
The next thing i knew i was blinded by some sort of light.
Wait a minute, was i out already. hey what about the speech that I was supposed to give- ok here goes nothing-
"My dear parents, I'm pleased to..."- but i'm sure i didnt hear these words, all I could hear was "waaaa waaaa" and due to some reason I couldnt stop crying.
Oh my god! this is the worst possible entry( or exit-damn does it matter!!) ever.

No brilliant speech, horrible looks- bad investment?

Then i heard mom say, "Phew the baby's out. Wasnt he a handful!!"